The dictionary definition of confidence is, ‘’an expression of certainty or a feeling of certainty about something. It could be anything. It could be, being certain about God, yourself, people, or even a course of action.
Confident is from a Latin word ‘’Fidere’’, which is translated to mean ‘’TO TRUST’’.
Therefore, confidence to you is when you’re sure and certain about a particular thing. For instance, you’re confident that you are a child of God and that God loves you. You trust that no matter what you’re going through now, that God is able to make everything right again.
SELF- CONFIDENCE
If the word confident means ‘’To Trust’’, then self- confidence is simply having trust in yourself. It is understanding that you trust your own judgement and abilities, regardless of any imperfection or what others may believe about you.
To win in life, you have to trust and believe that you can win. It could be as little as wanting to take the first position in your class, or wanting to have the highest mark in a particular subject in school or even wanting to win a prize. If you don’t trust and believe that you can do that, then you may never be able to. You need to understand that doubting yourself has a way of stoping you in life. Even when every other person doubts you, make sure not to join them to bring yourself down. THAT’S THE TIME TO STAND UP TO YOUR FEET, HIT YOUR CHEST AND SAY TO YOURSELF
“ AM CONFIDENT IN GOD AND I TRUST THAT I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH THE STRENGTH THAT GOD PROVIDES”
Understand that your words are powerful and they have the potentials to bring you down or make you succeed. So, use them wisely. SAY POSITIVE WORDS TO YOURSELF EVERYDAY. Words like:
- I am a child of GOD. Therfore I am who He says I am
- I am not a failure but a success
- I will fulfill destiny
- There’s a place for me in this world
- I was never a mistake etc
Let’s not mistake this for pride. When you are self-confident, it doesn’t describe you as being proud. However, when it becomes pride, (which is dangerous) is when you become over- confident about something, when you inappropriately believe in yourself, someone, or something. If you must ever take pride in anything at all, then it should be about God; your absolute trust should be on Him.
Self-confidence is vital in almost every aspect of your live. Yet many people struggle to find it. Nobody is ever born with self-confidence. It is something that can be developed in the course of your living. If you’ve ever seen someone with an incredible, limitless self-confidence, then, he/she built it. So, this is to tell you that you can build up your self-confidence today, if you so desire.
One thing about lack of self-confidence is that, it reduces your self-worth, self- esteem. It makes you believe that you’re never capable of achieving your dreams or may even make you not to dream at all. It makes you search and settle for alterntives, it makes you look for places where you would be noticed. And this often times opens you up to ABUSE.
People with self-confidence, generally like themselves, and are willing to take steps to achieve their personal and professional goals. They think positively about the future. While people who lack self-confidence feel that they cannot achieve their goals. They often have negative perception about themselves and what they hope to gain in life.
Here are few resultants of lack of self-confidence;
EFFECTS OF LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE
- Lack of self-confidence will make you feel insecure about yourself:
In other words, you will never believe in your abilities to do something. You’ll always feel you’re never good enough to meet life’s challenges. You will continue to doubt your capabilities and won’t be able to trust yourself. You’ll always be scared of the society calling you a failure. And this can lead you into settling for abnormal alternatives, searching for security elsewhere, settling for things that can be destructive to your destiny. Since you’re already feeling insecure about everything, you can easily give in to anything that would make you feel good at that moment. Things like getting into;
- DRUGS
- GIVING INTO SEXUAL TEMPTATIONS
- INDULGING IN THEFT(STEALING) AND EVEN
- CULTISM
The consequences of this is that, it will open you up into a lot of danger, which could be ;
- Teenage pregnancy
- Mental challenge
- Sexually transmitted disases
- Even death.
- It makes you feel unlimited about yourself:
When you lack self-confidence, you subconsciously build boundaries for yourself and restrict yourself from taking steps in life. It makes you build walls and vow never to break them. For instance, if there’s a competition in school, and students were called upon to participate, lack of self-confidence will make you not participate, because, you already set boundaries for yourself. You already said to yourself that, “I’m not equal to the task, the intelligent ones can participate’’, which is wrong.
- It makes you shy away from your peer group, the public, etc:
Once you keep shying away from doing things, you may never achieve anything in life. For instance, you keep wishing you can get into politics, and help create a better Nigeria for Nigerians. But when it’s time for debate in school, you shy away (run away) because, you feel you don’t speak good English or communicate effectively. So you keep hiding in your shell.
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People with lack of self-confidence may never be able to live the life of their dreams.
You need to know that nothing in life just happens in one day. Everything in life is a process. This is why we said earlier that nobody is born with self-confidence, but it can be built. You can deliberately work on yourself to build your self-confidence.
It’s not always easy to be confident in yourself, especially if you are naturally self-critical or have people who verbally hurt and abuse you, saying things like, ‘you can’t do It’, ‘you are not capable of anything’.
One important thing about life is that, we should never allow what people say about us to define us, or be the basic upon which our lives are built. For instance, if someone calls you UGLY, you should turn to the person and say ‘Thank You’. (strange right?) well, this is because, our physical appearance does not entirely define who we are.
How we look is part of who we are. But it does not define all of us.
Robert Hoge
So, I’ll say to you that, “How you look is a part of who you are, but it does not define you.”
THINGS YOU CAN DO TO BUILD YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
- Understand and realize that you are only who God says you are, and not what your environment, the society, people and the circumstances surrounding your growth and living has made you to be. So, you need to ask yourself “who does God say you are”.
- God says you are a peculiar person, one who has been chosen, and one who is special to Him(God).
- God says His thought and plans for you are good plans, that would make you have a future and a hope.
So, this simply tells us that beyond us wanting to succeed, God also wants the same thing for us. Absolute trust and confidence in God should be the foundation for our self-confidence. God said, we can do ALL things through the strength that he provides. So never you say “you can’t”. Understand that you were never a biological mistake or accident. Understand that God brought you into this world to make a difference. Out of the 7.8 Billion people on earth today, there is a place for you, there is something unique and special about you. So, instead of crying over the things you feel you don’t have, why don’t you brace up, pick up the pieces and go-be who God wants you to be.
Identify your negative thought. Which might sound like;
- I will surely fail,
- if I try, people will laugh at me,
- I can’t do it etc.
You can
Turn these negative thoughts to something positive. Always affirm yourself with words like;
- Am going to try it,
- I can be successful, if I at least take a step to do something,
- even if I fail, I will try again,
- I can do it, etc.
Set yourself up to win. Start from small and achievable goals.
- Do one thing that you think you can’t do you every day. If for instance, talking to a large number of people scares you, you can start by talking to a person per day at least, and then gradually grow into facing a large audience.
- Identify what you are good at. The things you know you can do well. This could serve as a source of strength and can encourage you.
- Seek to help others. It could be your junior ones at home, maybe with their assignment or laundry. This act will not just help others, but will give you a sense of belonging, because you’ll see that you have something to offer.
- Stop comparing yourself with others. Focus on improving your own life for the better and not making your life look like that of your best friend or your classmate in school. It’s okay to admire them, but don’t convince yourself that everyone else does it better than you do.
In conclusion, don’t feel bad if you think you lack self-confidence. The good news is that you can build it over time. You can apply the steps listed above to your everyday life.
Learn to cultivate a positive attitude about yourself. Learn to deal with negative emotions that arise and practice self-care (take care of yourself at all times).
And remember, people who lack self-confidence may never succeed in life. So, if you must succeed, take a step to build your self-confidence today.
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